I pretty much stopped blogging about Sadie a week after she died. It was hard to do, and we got adopted a new dog not even a month later. Because I found myself forever comparing Bailey to Sadie (and Sadie wins pretty much every time), I more or less decided that was the end of Sadie's blog. That Jordan got bored with it was also a contributing factor.
But thanks to Facebook's "On This Day" feature, I was reminded that we found out that Sadie had cancer on 9/11. I actually thought it was a different day; 9/11 normally depresses me so much as it is, so I am surprised that sad Sadie day would not have stuck with me. In any event, I felt that I needed to come here to commemorate (for lack of a better word) that day. So here I am.
It seems so hard to believe that it has been over a year since we were given that heart-breaking news. I still think about Sadie a lot. I often wonder if I would think about her as much if we did not have Bailey. Maybe I would think about her more. With pets, at least for me, and maybe just because we have another, time really did help to heal my heart. I still miss Sadie, but I have not cried about her in a long time.
For the first few week after Sadie died, I cried daily. Maybe that even lasted a month or more. But eventually life got in the way and she was pushed further back into my mind. We keep Sadie's box with her ashes, along with two pictures, her collar, a hand-drawn card and picture from my niece, and a book about dogs on a shelf above one of the couches in our living room. Sometimes when I dust that shelf (which is only about once a month), I get sad. Only recently did Bailey start sleeping on that coach occassionally. Part of me believe that Sadie's ghost has shooed her away.
About a month or two ago, in the later evening, Bri said that Bailey was staring at the wall near the couch, and her tail was wagging. He got up and tried to figure out what she was looking at. He found no toys, no bugs. Nothing. When he told me the story, I right away thought it had to be Sadie. Maybe she was somehow communicating with Bailey and telling her it was okay for her to stay. If Sadie really is/has a ghost, and happens to be a ghost who can hear, then she knows how much we love and miss her and how often I say, "Bailey, Sadie would never do that." or "Sadie was so much better."
I feel a little bad about saying that to Bailey, but I am 99 percent sure she has no idea what I am saying
But maybe Sadie does. And that's okay by me. :-)
